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A “Successful” Divorce… Is It Possible, And What Does It Mean?

08th March 2010
By karlrisse in Divorce
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Welcome to this exclusive article discussing the issue of divorce and what it means to achieve a "successful divorce".

I know that can sound like a complete oxymoron, a contradiction… after all, how can a divorce be "successful"? We associate divorce with failure, with an ending, with dissolution of an emotional bond and the legal state of matrimony. We consider divorce as undesirable and awful, something that one does not associate with the word ‘success' typically.

Sure, no one goes looking for divorce. On that special, glorious wedding day, when one is so happy and excited about the future and what married life will bring, the prospect of divorce does not even flit through our consciousness. We enter marriage in the hope and belief that it will last, as we should… marriage is a serious commitment, so you should be sure of your love before making it official.

Unfortunately, in life and love nothing is a given. Life can throw us curve balls, love can take unexpected twists or turns, may shock us, may change us, or may just die a natural death as two adults find themselves drifting apart and looking for new things.

For these reasons, divorce is a very common even in our society. Two out of every three marriages ends in divorce, which is a very high statistic. But rather than bewail the ending of a marriage and mourn the failed marriage, we should focus on the positive changes that divorce brings - renewed vigor in life, new hopes, new plans, better self-esteem, improved relationships and intimacy… a chance to start afresh and be happy and autonomous!

And that is why divorce can be a "successful" process.

You can approach it by focusing on the positives, concentrating on the fact that neither of the spouses involved will be miserable anymore, and that a brighter future can be attained. And you can be successful in your divorce by ensuring that you walk away with your finances, your housing, your goals, your self-respect, and the self-respect and love of your children completely intact!

I'm sure you're familiar with the phrase it takes two to tango, and so it is with a marriage from day one. It takes two. A single person alone cannot build a solid foundation for the passage of matrimonial bless. Each individual must take part in the securing and forming the base of a marriage before and after the "I dos" have been said. For after the ceremony is undertaken and celebrations are over, the real deal that is ‘marriage' begins. Marriage is, to a large extent, about coping with the unexpected, regardless of what staggering or unanticipated turn of events occur.

Do not be blind to the tale-tale signs that may give hint that something is wrong in your marriage, or that your significant ‘other half' is unhappy. If a serious problem is lurking, you must be aware of it so that you can tackle it head on; not as one, but as two individuals who want to nip the problem areas in the bud, before it gets out of hand and out of control. In a committed relationship, you cannot afford to sweep any issues under the rug and pretend they don't exist; for when you do, you are asking for trouble. Whatever the issue, recognize it and then muster up the courage to deal with it, taking a mature stance.

One of the issues that could occur is if and when your spouse or partner suddenly informs you that they want out, they had a change of heart and now they want to be free. They want a divorce and you don't. What do you do, and how can you save your marriage, if your partner has a change of heart and wants to cancel out or dissolve the marriage?

Most likely, if this should occur, the first thing you will feel like doing after the bottom has fallen out of your world is to fall to pieces and feel sorry for yourself. You might even start screaming and wailing, perhaps even cursing, becoming a basket case of feelings and emotions that are, understandably, in great turmoil.
A sudden announcement that your spouse ‘wants out' leaves your heart unexpectedly broken, taking away all of your joy, comfort and sensibility, turning life into despair, misery and sorrow. Though these are strong emotions that are normal and typical reactions due to agonizing pain and suffering, it is not an appealing picture to witness, nor is it a healthy state of being for the mind, body and spirit. No one likes experiencing or being around a deep sense of depression or hopelessness. This is unpleasant for you and those around you, and will only prove counterproductive if you want to save your marriage. You are going to need confidence, courage and a backbone to meet the problem head on, for heartache and misery alone cannot save a troubled marriage. You know the saying, ‘love don't love nobody and tears don't give a damn,' the signs of your gloom and doom is not what you need to get your spouse interested again, or getting them to change their minds about the marriage.

We want to really uncover all the insights and secrets when it comes to surviving a divorce and thriving in life again, and so we've created and compiled the most comprehensive manual. We worked with all the top experts in the field to bring all this incredible content together, positive ways, then you simply must head here now:

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