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The Joy Of An Ex - The Benefits of Working With A Divorce Coach

16th November 2011
By Jackie Rahmler in Divorce
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Copyright (c) 2011 Jackie Ramler

Ask almost anyone who has been divorced, and he/she would tell you it was a devastating process whether he/she initiated it or not. Some have called it crazy times, but no matter what you call it, people are emotionally disabled and yet are required to make major decisions that will affect their future. Divorce is full of many major losses not limited to, but including, the loss of a spouse, of a significant relationship, of fulltime contact with children, extended family, loss of friends, a home, dreams, financial lifestyle, stability and even faith in oneself. Often people feel debilitated by anger, grief, blame, humility, sadness, fear, pain, and even emptiness.

Some experience a sense of relief, but still feel the sense of failure that is normal when anything critical in your life ends. A skilled and qualified Divorce Coach provides you with the coaching you need to transcend separation and divorce. A Divorce Coach is a neutral trained professional who knows the opposing team of issues and conflicts. Not only do they understand what you need to do, but also they know how you can effectively negotiate the process. Your Divorce Coach, like any kind of coach, supports you in skill acquisition, practices with so you are prepared, tutors you in acquiring the knowledge necessary, advises and guides you find the answers you need, works with you on coping and effectively helps you manage the reality and decision of divorce.

When looking for a Divorce Coach, it is important to ensure you understand what makes someone qualified. A Divorce Coach needs to be a member of a regulatory body. This means they have an overseeing organization that directs, manages, and controls them with specific rules and principles to ensure the coach offers a high standard of service. Two examples of regulated professionals are a Registered Social Worker (RSW) or a Registered Psychologist. Regulation is not the only area that qualifies coaches: they should also be well versed in three areas of education:

1) They must have either a Masters or Doctorate Level in counselling, social work, and/or psychology.

2) They need to have specialized training and experience in separation and divorce.

3) They must understand the difference between therapy and coaching.

As a coach, they must know how to tutor you, train you and advise you so you can survive, thrive and transcend divorce.

At first, your Divorce Coach will meet with you and gauge where you are. Just like an athletic coach, a Divorce Coach needs to assess your skill level and your mental ability to face the challenge in front of you. Once the coach knows where you are, he/she will begin guiding you through the skill acquisition you need. The ultimate goals in divorce coaching are to move you through the emotional stages of divorce, assist you in finding closure, and support you in moving from the 'we' to the 'me'. The coach will set out a plan that will including meeting, completing homework, and practicing so you are emotionally fit to negotiate not only your divorce, but your life after divorce. Just like an athlete facing a difficult game or race, you will need and want a coach there with you at the practices and on the sidelines so you can make it through the event without debilitating injury.

You will find that your coach will benefit you in many ways. Emotionally you will be able to let go and move on and you will replace confusion and uncertainty with clarity. The coach will help you to know what will come next and assist you in taking orderly steps to your benefit. You will take responsibility for your actions, understand your mistakes, and increase your chances of happiness after divorce. The coach will help you see new options and perspectives and make well-informed decisions with confidence. You will be ready to develop a new and different relationship with your ex and have the skills to respond in effective ways. You will gather skills to help you in your relationship with your lawyer. Not only will you understand the vital importance of self-care, but you will also develop self-care goals and the ability to implement them. You will improve your relationship with yourself and regain control. Most importantly with the help of a Divorce Coach, you will find the gifts of continual hope and support that will get you through divorce with dignity.


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