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Dealing with a painful Divorce

21st September 2011
By jonesspores in Divorce
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When you get married, you had your hopes and aspirations for where the relationship was to go. You can have already planned out the life you really want with your husband or wife and that may involve having a nice house and filling it with your little ones. Sadly, things can fall to pieces and our wishes and plans may well not exactly be what happen. One such unexpected event is divorce. So, once it is all over, how do you deal with the grief that separation has left you with? How do you cope with this, how do you pick up the pieces and move forward with your life, is that even possible?

Divorce is definitely about a whole lot of things and it is a lot of different things for a lot of different people. Some look at it as a freedom and something that they were after for quite a long time. Some may find relief to be rid of something that was hurting them for a very long time and some can't wait to get out there and lead learning how to talk to women or men over again. Then again, for the bulk of divorcees, men and women alike, Divorce is going to be really heartbreaking and there is little doubt that of that and a really few amount of divorcees will say it was nothing.

Why is it so painful? It is because it is a loss. Think of how heartbreaking it was for you when someone you really liked died. You lost somebody close to you and it was certainly difficult for you. It is exactly the same thing with divorce, you lost something significant to you, you lose the years you had together, and you lose the singular connection you had with your partner. It is a loss and it is going to be normal for you to feel grief. This emotion of loss is why it is important for you to allow yourself some time to mourn. If you won't so now, all those problems can come at some later time or even affect future relationships.

You should not be embarrassed of needing to grieve over your own divorce; people are going to be understanding. You really need to make sure that you move forward though. This is significant due to the fact that you are going to really need to let go of your hurt and of the past. Yes, you need to feel the agony to go any further but this does not signify that you must dwell in it. Learn to accept that things are as they are and you probably did what you can and you must not be blaming anyone on how things went.

Move on, you can do it gradually if you would like to, but move forward nonetheless. Move on for your own sake, take it one step at a time, you could start by learning how to talk to women or men again. Wallowing in your sorrow and your anger is simply to affect you.


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