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Top 10 common causes for divorce

20th July 2011
By Prince Damin in Divorce
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It's a sad fact but the number of couples resorting to divorce has skyrocketed since its legalization in the United States in the late 1900's. Divorce is an important time not only for the separating couple but for all the members of the family. Some people resort to divorce as an easy way out of their marital problems while some see it as their only escape to an abusive and damaging relationship.

I have compiled list of the top 10 reasons why most marriages end in divorce. These are in no particular order but according to numerous studies on this very topic, they have ranked pretty high. Read on to find out if your relationship is still worth saving or if it's about time to hand in the papers.

Physical/Emotional Abuse:- Fighting, harsh words and constant belittling of the other spouse is what most people probably think of when you mention this type of abuse. But this can also mean holding one back from doing what he or she wants to do. Being controlling and making the other person believe he or she can't achieve something also constitutes as emotional abuse. This type of abuse can have a lasting effect on the one being abused. Many people that have grown up in an abusive household feel that this is a normal situation. Even though it way more common than most people thinks, the cycle can be broken. It takes a lot for one to break that cycle but once it's done the result usually ends up a positive one.

Lack of Communication:- Communication between two or more people that spend a lot of time together is very important. This is even more important in a marriage. When communication is lacking, distance can begin to form between spouses. That distance can lead to marital issues that in some cases may be irreversible. This can lead to divorce.

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Infidelity:- This reason needs no explanation. Not all infidelity ends in divorce. When two spouses can work past their differences and stay together even when one has been unfaithful trust can sometimes be re-established. But all too often when one cheats, it causes a downward spiral trust which in more cases than not, lead to divorce.

Substance Abuse:- Substance abuse, whether it's alcohol or drugs usually puts the other spouse in a weird place. They don't know whether to stay or go, but all while fearing the worse each time their spouse comes home intoxicated or high. Eventually he or she won't be able to take it anymore. If the spouse with the problem doesn't get help then divorce is usually the result.

Abandonment:- Far too often one of the spouses will spend more time away from the other. It's usually due to their career, friends or even video games. No matter what it may be that is taking up most of the one's time, it makes the other feel lonely. He or she may not even see the effect it's having on their spouse until it's too late. Many times this marriage will also end in divorce.

Handling Conflict:- Generally people handle conflict in different ways. This doesn't necessarily mean handling conflict with one another. This also means how one handles conflict with others as well. Let's say one spouse is very passive when it comes to conflict and the other is vengeful, this can cause major division among married couples. Not to say this will always end up in divorce, but there are those that do not know how to come to that happy medium within the relationship and allow their difference in the way they handle conflict to be enough to want to go separate ways.

Career Goals:- Believe it or not but this is more common than you may expect. One spouse believes in working hard to support his or her family. In his/her mind, they believe that providing for their family financially is the most important thing they can do to show love so they become work-a-holics. This behavior usually works well to satisfy the physical needs of the family but it does just the opposite of the emotional needs of the family.

Religious Beliefs:- Over 90% of Americans believe there is a higher power that watches over us but less than 50% of those believe in living their life according to Biblical principles. One spouse believes in God and the other doesn't have the same conviction. Religion can get in the way of marriage. There is a fine line here and being a "Christian" doesn't exempt anyone from stress of divorce.

Illness:- "In sickness and in health till death do us part." This is a wedding vow many people profess at the time of their marriage, but what happens when you are actually faced with sickness of your spouse? Many feel they have needs that their spouse can't fill do to illness and they look to others to have those needs filled. It doesn't necessarily have to be sexual. It can be emotional as well. Once you become emotionally attached to someone else, the love for your spouse can dwindle away. Sometimes this love fades away at the most inopportune time for the spouse with the illness.

Finances:- Even though these reasons are in no specific order, finances are actually the number one reason for divorce in this country. For many it's the lack of money. For others it's just mishandling of money. If one spouse is into saving money and the other is in to spending money then they are constantly butting heads. They become so concerned about how the checkbook is handled that they let the almighty dollar cloud their vision of love for their spouse. Yes, there needs to be balance, but money should not be that balance and all too often it is.

As an Online Divorce Provider, we come across these reasons why people divorce far too often. Many people go years letting one or more of these reasons cause bitter roots in their heart for their spouses. By the time they try to work on the issue, it is already too late. Although the vows of marriage should always be taken seriously, there are instances when your relationship can do you more harm than good. Only then should you decide to throw in the towel and make that move for a divorce. Don't lose your spouse forever.
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