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How Men Rejoin the Dating Scene After Getting Divorced

14th June 2011
By Christy in Divorce
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Although men do not face the same challenges as women do after getting divorced, they still have challenges they must meet. This is especially true for those who have been married for a long time or have been with the same person for many years. Things have changed in the world of dating-pick up lines that use to work are now passé and even degrading to women in the 21st century. Sometimes men don't even know where to go to meet women today, especially those who are not interested in the bar scene and want a woman who can actually hold a conversation without alcohol.

Both men and women face financial challenges after getting divorced, but the difference is for men it is on the "sending" end rather than "receiving" end. Men who are getting divorced might face any number of the following challenges:

• Financial distress related to child support and alimony

• Fears about losing the love of the children

• Distress over losing control of finances

• Learning how to do the things they always depended on their wives to do (i.e. cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.)

• Scheduling time to spend with the children as well as returning to the dating scene

• Re-entering the dating market in the 21st century after years of being married and being with the same person

• Becoming more involved in child-rearing as opposed to allowing the wife to handle all of those duties

• Making new friends outside of those you share with your ex-spouse, especially unmarried and unattached female friends

Men can also face the challenge of working out an equitable visitation schedule with his children. This can sometimes be a problem because unfortunately when some women face the knowledge they are getting divorced, they use the children as leverage against their ex-spouse in order to get what they want. While some men will hold out for the court's decision, others prefer to let the woman have what she wants just so they are able to have a relationship with their children.

Another challenge that faces many men is living arrangements. With the cost of living and unemployment at an all-time high, they are often faced with the possibility of living with friends or relatives or remaining in the marital home as a "roommate." There was a time when couples getting divorced wouldn't have even considered continuing to live in the same house, but the cost of living is forcing many to decide which is worse: continuing to live with their ex-spouse and avoiding the high cost of alimony and child support, living with friends or relatives or taking on the cost of an apartment that leaves them strapped for money after alimony and child support. While continuing to live together is not an arrangement that will work for all couples, it may provide a solution for those who would prefer to stay close to their children and still be able to provide for them financially. This is a detailed information you need to know about getting divorced.

Christy Oconnor is a divorce lawyer specializing in divorce application, child custody, divorce settlements and the like.
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