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When Divorce Hurts Too Long - Stages of Divorce

12th October 2011
By Eve Achilleos in Divorce
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There's the thought in the mental health community that anyone who feels that they had no idea their ex-spouse or ex-woman/boy friend was unhappy, might not are reading the signs. They will are ignoring them hoping they would escape if no attention was paid to them. This can be not typically the case. If a spouse or significant other is sad or dissatisfied in their marriage or relationship, they are additional than possible exhibiting behaviors that mirror this dissatisfaction.

Some examples of those behaviors include:

being a workaholic and being disengaged from the family

main interest is being with the guys or gals and partying

living separate lives - completely different interests, completely different friends, different goals etc.

amendment in level of affection

amendment in level of interest shown in being with spouse

There are such a lot of completely different sorts of behaviors that can indicate dissatisfaction with a relationship that a whole book could be written simply to hide all of them. These examples just scratch the surface.


The Stages of Divorce identified below were developed based mostly on the different feelings, sensations, thoughts, and fears that occur in the midst of the divorce method, when the divorce method is over, and when somebody, who has slipped into Post Marital Stress (PMS) disorder, finally walks aloof from it. If you haven't scan either of the primary 2 articles in this series, here could be a transient description of PMS.

Everyone deals with grief and loss differently and at a completely different pace, most folks move on after a divorce or ended relationship inside 2-3 years. This can be a bit exhausting to quantify exactly as a result of humans are unique. The key part to seem for over those 2 to a few years is forward progress.

Some people who have passed through a prospect-up or divorce get stuck and don't create forward progress. This can be evidenced by continuing to grieve the loss of a spouse and therefore the family that they had known and bemoaning their ton in life. Even more than just obtaining stuck, they veer off and go down a path of bitterness, anger, victimization, and martyrdom. When this occurs they have a full blown case of Post Marital Stress disorder.


The Stages of Divorce theory is predicated on change theory which purports that when one thing changes in an exceedingly person's life, there are a series of stages or steps that accompany that change. These stages can range from hardly noticeable to excruciatingly painful...relying on the change.

A well-known example of this sort of modification theory is that the developmental milestones children bear from birth to regarding the age of 5-6. There are hundreds of various developmental milestone charts that map out what kids ought to be doing developmentally at totally different ages.

Therefore, taking this idea of developmental milestones to the next level, there are divorce or relationship break-up developmental milestones for recovery too and they are:

STAGE ONE is wondering if you would like a divorce. This stage may have 2 potential endings.

The first chance is when a spouse or partner begins pondering whether or not they want to interrupt-up or get a divorce. If the answer is YES then they moves into Stage Two.

The second chance is that the spouse or partner, puzzling over whether or not they wish a to break-up or split, decides they DO want a divorce however decide NOT to maneuver into Stage Two for numerous reasons. These reasons might be healthy viable reasons but a lot of usually than not they're unhealthy as a result of they are created out of worry of retribution, fear of being alone, concern of being physically hurt etc.

STAGE TWO is asking for a divorce or being told by your spouse that she desires a divorce

STAGE THREE goes through the divorce proceedings

STAGE FOUR is turning into single. This is often the stage where somebody begins to become a healthy happy individual or starts to move down the path of PMS.

STAGE FIVE is learning how to be a contented well adjusted single person. If a private gets stuck in Stage Four they can not move to the present level till they receive intensive individual therapy of some sort.

Eve Achilleos has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Post Divorce, you can also check out her latest website about:
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