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Guide on Introducing a New Love Interest to Children and Family After a Divorce

21st October 2009
By Clivir Team in Divorce
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After a divorce children and the family need time to recover and heal from the painful emotions. If a divorce has taken a long time to become final, the people around the divorced couple as well as the couple need to have a cooling off period.

You might after some time decide to date and see new people. It's a good idea to take your time before getting into another serious relationship; many people need to grieve the loss of the old one before beginning a new one. Children especially need the time to get used to the idea that their parents are no longer together. Seeing a parent going out on dates might be painful at first, especially for young children.

Once you find a new love in your life, don't introduce your children or family to them too soon. They will need to get used to the idea that you are moving on from your marriage and are ready to date again. Children will need the time to get used to you seeing other people and to understand that it's ok. Most children want their parents back together and might try to make this happen.

Once the child accepts that the divorce is final and there is no chance for you to get back together, only introduce those you date whom you are serious about. Having the child meet a never ending list of dates can get confusing and some kids do get attached to some of them. It can be hard on them if the person they may have come to depend on or like having around is no longer there.

Once you have introduced the children, make sure you spend time alone with them. Children need to feel like they are special to you and they are the most important thing in your life. Outings to their favorite places or just spending time at home watching TV or reading together is a good way to show the kids you still care.

With family and friends it can be equally difficult to introduce someone new. Most couples have mutual friends and family members might still be close to the ex-spouse. Your friends might feel uncomfortable in seeing you with someone new, especially if they feel loyal to your ex.

Taking the introduction of a new love into your life slowly is the best way for everyone. Don't expect your children to love your new interest as you do, at least not at first. They may grow to like or even love them eventually - but this will take some time. Family and friends will come around in time, but don't expect them to accept someone new right away.

A passionate and reputable writer, Marcy Burlock loves to share her divorce subject matter knowledge with others. You can find her articles about Free Divorce Kits and Divorcing without lawyer on
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