How To Stop My Divorce - Whether Or Not It Was My Idea In The First Place
By: W. Scott | Posted: 25th November 2009
The question of how to stop my divorce is a little bit different depending on whether it was originally your idea or your spouses idea. Now, on the surface some might think it foolish to discuss how to stop a divorce if it was your idea, just quit paying your attorney!
Unfortunately, it is not that easy. Perhaps a rather clumsy analogy would be to, say, pull a gun and shoot at someone, but since you missed and now you realize it was a bad idea you expect everything to return to the way it was. Forget it! Miss or not, you hurt this person emotionally for sure - even if not physically.
If it was you who started the wheels rolling to put an end to your marriage and your spouse knows this then how to stop my divorce is not as easy as firing your attorney.
First you are going to have to swallow your pride and apologize to your spouse. Explain that, as he or she probably realizes, there are problems in your marriage and you acted hastily in a bad way. You have realized the mistake and since you still love, respect and desire to share your life with them you have ended the divorce proceedings.
If your spouse was not in agreement to the divorce then there is a good chance that you can move forward from here to save your marriage.
What if, on the other hand, you need to know how to stop my divorce when it was not my idea in the first place? That is an entirely different process to begin.
Your first reaction to the divorce may be anger, confusion, surprise or anywhere in between. The trick is to try to stay calm; you want to both think rationally and act rationally. The goal is to open a dialogue with your spouse where you can discuss the situation calmly, explain your desire to save the marriage, and not try to assess blame on anyone.
Neither, though, do you want to reduce yourself to excessive apologies for known and unknown infractions in the marriage or in any way disrespect yourself. This also means no begging or pleading to stop the divorce and get back together.
A successful marriage is based on mutual love, respect and admiration and if you throw a tantrum, plead forgiveness (especially for nothing) or demean yourself in your spouses eyes then you are lessening the attractiveness of a marriage with you.
If the divorce was not your idea your primary goal is to begin a dialogue where at least the divorce is not moving forward. Once the proceedings are stopped it gives you time to open up alternative options for reconciliation.
In the case that you cannot get your spouse to communicate and discuss the situation then you need more advance techniques beyond the scope of this article but which we do cover at our website.
Your spouse does have issues with the way your marriage was and probably wants you to do some changing. Be open and not defensive about any criticism of your past actions and behavior.
Compromise is the key, but may take some time to get both sides into that mode. Small, incremental changes while keeping the communication honest, open and mature can keep things moving to reconciliation.
This gives you a start; find powerful advanced techniques on how to stop my divorce by heading over to our website.
You can benefit from the same system used successfully by many others in your situation. The address is http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com.
Mr. Scott has enjoyed assisting people with relationship and marriage issues for many years now. Please note that he may occasionally receive some form of compensation when recommending other experts services or products.
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Tags: surprise, little bit, good chance, mistake, confusion, analogy, desire, apologies, wheels, pride, bad idea, anger, marriage, dialogue, disrespect, infractions, divorce proceedings