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Don't Want Divorce? - Stop Divorce By Actively Ruling It Out As An Option

03rd December 2009
By W. Scott in Divorce
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If you don't want divorce, rule it out as an option. You have probably heard that the way to get what you want is to visualize having it. Why then, would you visualize divorce?

No couple goes into a marriage expecting to file for divorce. Yet I think some keep it in the back of their mind as an escape hatch. People that uncertain of their relationship and mate probably should postpone marriage until they are more certain.

Recent information seems to indicate that couples who rule out divorce as an option instead seem successful at resolving conflict peaceably and enjoying a stronger marriage. After all, a happy marriage was the goal on the wedding day. Stop divorce before it starts and avoid the pain and suffering that goes with it.

If you don't want divorce in your life then it is worth your time to learn the skills to enjoy a happy marriage. Many times a person will receive unsolicited advice from friends when it becomes known that there are troubles in the marriage.

You could listen to your friends advice, but what qualifications do they have when it comes to relationships? Statistics dictate that the chances are more than half of your friends are either unmarried or divorced, so why take marital advice from them? They may suggest divorce as a quick and easy fix to your problems.

In reality, hardly anyone has a quick and easy divorce, let alone a painless one. Some divorcees simply hate to see someone else happily married. So why not work toward success in your marriage and rule out divorce before you become disillusioned about its appeal?

Couples who have considered divorce but instead chosen to work through their marital conflicts are frequently found to be happily married years later. And why not? Once you learn the skills to work through marital strife you can not only avoid it in the future, but treat it immediately and successfully when it does show up.

Some spouses may not take their relationship problems seriously until they stare the potential for divorce in the face. If it is not a given that your spouse will stay with you no matter what, you now have the incentive to get active to stop divorce.

Having the option of divorce on the table, but making the conscious decision to avoid divorce can make all of the difference in a marriage. If you two agree that divorce is not desirable then you now agree on a common goal for your relationship, which is a good thing.

Some key tips to try if you don't want a divorce and would rather save your marriage are these:

1.) Communicate the situation to your spouse calmly and clearly. Tell him or her that divorce is not the option you want, your intention is to work through the problems in a loving way that will result in a stronger marriage.

2.) See how many goals you can agree on. Hopefully avoiding divorce is number one on the list. Write down these goals so you both know what to be working toward.

3.) Understand that marriage is a team sport in life. Neither one can carry the ball all of the time. Both have strengths and weaknesses that ideally will complement each other. Use each others strengths and trust your spouse to do his or her part.

4.) Commit to an attempt to do all things with mutual love and respect. Understand that this will be harder at first and that you both will fail at times. Agree to forgive and forget as those incidents occur and never give up trying to improve.

Working together to avoid divorce, heal your marriage and make a better life for both of you will be very hard at times. My hope is that you will also rediscover the things you each found to fall in love with originally, though.

Learn right now what it takes to save your marriage if you don't want divorce. With the right help and your commitment to work through the issues you can be successful and avoid divorce.

To continue learning what it takes go to our website at We have great resources to help you.

Mr. Scott has enjoyed assisting people with relationship and marriage issues for many years now. Please note that he may occasionally receive some form of compensation when recommending other experts services or products.
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