5 Steps of Divorce Recovery for Men
By: januszjanulis | Posted: 16th March 2011
5 Steps of Divorce Recovery for Men
There is a mental process that we all go through when faced with situations involving deep loss such as a death in the family and also divorce. As this is something that happens all too often we now know a general idea of how this plays out with 5 steps of divorce recovery for men (or for women).
Denial
The characteristics of this phase of divorce are:
• Not believing the divorce will really happen
• Not thinking about the possibility of life after divorce
• Not really considering the consequences of divorce
• Not interacting with your wife or ex wife in a mature way
Anger
The anger phase happens when denial is finally broken and the reality of the situation finally dawns on you. It can have these consequences.
• Lashing out against your wife verbally, or worse … physically
• Taking your anger out on family, friends or even your children
• Being bitter, resentful and withdrawn
• Deliberately sabotaging things for revenge
• Taking up drinking or substance abuse
• Being angry at yourself
Bargaining
The stage of bargaining is a phase of desperation in post-divorce life. Once you realise that anger gets you nowhere you come to this stage and plead for things to be back as they were; or at least to salvage as much as they can. Some things that might happen are:
• Pleading for reconciliation with your ex wife
• Blackmailing your ex wife to get back together or influence the outcome of the divorce
• Trying to get as much as you can back of your old life rather than moving forward with a new one
• Trying to sleep with your ex wife again
Depression
Once bargaining does not work and you find the reality of a final verdict of your divorce hit you full force many men hit a period of powerlessness and sadness. This can be seen with some problems such as.
• Withdrawal emotionally and socially from life
• Lack of energy and purpose
• Full blown clinical depression
• Crying (and often hating yourself for it)
• Suicidal thoughts
Acceptance
This is the final phase of accepting the divorce and in doing so being able to move on. Acceptance is a means of putting all the negativity of the divorce behind you, realising it is over and a new life awaits! If you are entering this phase you may start to feel:
• A lifting of the sadness
• Increased energy and purpose
• Freedom from long term resentment
• Being able to forgive your ex and yourself
If you want to know not only the steps of divorce recovery for men, but also how to speed through these and not be aught up in the destructive actions that they can cause, click below to find out more …
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I thank you for taking the time to read this short report
Johnfox
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Tags: full force, general idea, salvage, family friends, desperation, anger, sadness, many men, 5 steps, lack of energy, denial, clinical depression, substance abuse, final verdict, reconciliation, death in the family