How to Counter Bad effects of Divorce

Divorce means a lot of stress for the parties involved. In a divorce all, especially the children, are laying face down to anxiety, irritation, unhappiness and aggression. Your child can suffer from one or all of these effects of divorce.

Usually most of the children cope-up with these situations quick enough. But in some cases, children may face long lasting psychological effects of divorce:

Following are some suggested counter measures against the adverse effects of divorce:

Tell the children about the divorce as soon as possible. Present the decision as a solution the Parents have come to together after they tried all the other ways they could find. Whenever possible parents should talk to the children together about the divorce. These actions help to keep children from feeling responsible for the divorce.

If you can not, make sure your children are not witnessing it. Do not unnecessarily include them in divorce issues.

Never underplay the role of other parent. Children love both of the parents and hearing allegations regarding someone they love can prove to be stressful.

It will be cruel of you to put your child in a situation where you ask him/her to choose you or your partner.

Try to help your child with adapting in case she/he has to shift to a new school and home. Take interest and encourage your child to tell you his/her problems and uncertainties.

A divorce or separation might bring a change in the behavioral pattern of your child. Divorce can lead to misbehavior in children. Be patient and loving.

Preschoolers are too young to understand divorce and thus blame themselves for their parents’ divorce. Older children can become sad, angry or timid.

Be open to discussion. Listen to what your children have to say. Their feelings should be acknowledged.

If you take the above-mentioned measures, you can save your child from the psychological effects of divorce.


Be honest and truthful without burdening your child with details s/he can't understand. Allow children to make suggestions in matters that concern them, but they should not be made to feel responsible for making major decisions. Be careful not to rely on the child too heavily to meet
Your needs.

Limit any acting out on the part of the children and help him/her to redirect her/his feelings

Reassure (especially younger) children that the divorce is not his/her fault.

Maintain routines. Be consistent with rules and activities.

Resolve and minimize conflicts. Don't blame the other parent. Agree to communicate only as Parents. Don't let your child become a weapon in battles over money, visits, holidays, etc.

Don't ask children to carry information between parents.


The author is Munish Dev Rathee

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