Does you partner make you feel that he or she is superior to you? If you can identify with any of these situations, you are living with a control freak. Living with a control freak can almost seem torturous and this type of behaviour can spell disaster for a marriage.

How do You Know if Your Partner is a Control Freak?

Do you feel that your partner is controlling every aspect of your life, including whom you should meet or not meet, where you should go, and how you should do things? If yes, your partner is a control freak. According to psychologists, the clinical term for this condition is Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD). People with this kind of a disorder always think that they know better than the other person. Therefore, even when they are doing something wrong, they feel they are right because it is very hard for a control freak to accept that he or she can also be wrong.

Therefore, if your partner is constantly finding faults with your friends and family and telling you whom you should meet and when it is ok for you to meet them, your partner is trying to control you and your behaviour. It is also very likely for a control freak to constantly criticise you. Control freaks are also very insecure and, therefore, are very likely to feel that their partners are cheating on them. Consequently, they keep falsely blaming their partners for having an affair. In marriages wherein one of the persons is a control freak, the other person cannot even voice out his or her opinion because the control freak in the marriage is likely to lose his or her temper or get very upset.

Are You Sacrificing Your Personal Freedom?

If your partner is a control freak, you are likely to feel tormented in your marriage. The sad part is that your control freak husband or wife will hardly ever suffer because of his or her own behaviour. This happens because a control freak never thinks that there is anything wrong with his or her behaviour. However, living with a control freak can be very difficult.

There are times when control freaks are so excessively critical of their partners that the partner may start experiencing self-esteem issues. In addition, since a control freak always finds faults with his or her partner, the partner is likely to lose self-confidence as well.

Are you making all the sacrifices in your marriage because of your control freak partner? You may think that you are making all the sacrifices but your control freak partner may not even realise it, leave alone appreciate your sacrifices. Therefore, your efforts to please your control freak partner are likely to go down the drain.

In fact, your control freak partner may think that he or she is actually doing you some sort of a favour by trying to rectify your inadequate behaviour. You cannot continue to sacrifice your freedom and happiness for such kind of a person. It is imperative that you take steps to get your freedom back, even if it means divorcing your partner.

Is Divorce the Solution?

Many people, after living for years together with a control freak, think that they cannot tolerate the controlling behaviour anymore. Since they reach a peak of their frustration levels, divorce seems like the only option. In such cases, people are not willing to reconcile with their partners because the relationship seems to have reached a dead end.

After years of tolerating condescending and controlling behaviour, victims of a controlling marriage feel no love or affection towards their controlling partner. Therefore, the very essence of marriage seems so diluted that divorce seems inevitable. However, some experts say that if the person displaying controlling behavioural patterns seeks professional help in a timely manner, marriage can be salvaged.

For the marriage to work, the controlling partner needs to acknowledge that there is a problem with his or her behaviour in order to make the professional therapy work. This is probably one of the most challenging parts because it is very hard for a control freak to actually acknowledge any erroneous behaviour from their end.

The controlling partner really should want the marriage to work in order to take the therapy seriously. Therefore, the control freak has to be patient, cooperative and collaborative during the therapy sessions. If your partner shows signs of improvement and willingness to work on his or her behavioural patterns, it would be worth to give your marriage another chance. However, if that is not the case, you should definitely opt out of a marriage wherein your partner does not respect your feelings, thoughts, or actions.





James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk