You may imagine that you'll have a divorce trial like those on an old Perry Mason or L.A. Law episode-everything settled in an hour with the "good guys" winning. Perhaps you're waiting for your day in court when you can explain to a wise and kindly judge the exact wrongs your spouse has visited upon you. Don't count on it.

An estimated 90% of divorce cases are settled without a court trial. Most of your settling will be done through meetings between you and your spouse or between your lawyers, often on the courthouse steps. As the trial date nears, you will quite likely be rushed into conferences in the courtroom hall or coffee shop. In these frantic meetings, your spouse and/or the attorneys may confront you, demanding instant decisions on issues that will affect the rest of your life.

Realize, too, that most divorce courts today are primarily concerned with money, not morals. The main job of the legal system is to resolve property disputes and to ensure the welfare of any children. Spousal misconduct, of course, could affect custody, and economic mischief (such as hiding assets) can change the outcome of the final settlement. But by and large, you will not get a chance to vent feelings about your mate in the courtroom.

The impersonal atmosphere of the legal world may baffle you. But, in fact, it is often to your advantage to stay out of the courtroom. As long as you and your spouse work toward a settlement without involving the court, you can trade property, negotiate terms, and still maintain some measure of control over your destiny.

If you cannot reach a settlement and must have a trial, however, you put your fate into the hands of a judge-a stranger who knows nothing about your children or property. You'll have to live with whatever that judge decides.

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